Mon corps est mon corps

Je voudrais vous présenter le programme  Mon corps est mon corps.
C’est un programme de prévention de la maltraitance infantile, basé sur la musique. Il offre ainsi une approche différente de ce sujet difficile à aborder, grâce à des chansons amusantes, animées et chantées.

MY BODY IS MY BODY

A  POSITIVE MUSICAL ANIMATED CHILDREN'S BODY SAFETY PROGRAMME

 

මම කැමතියි ඔබලාට හදුන්වා දෙන්න “මා සිරුර මා සතුයි යන වැඩසටහන”. මෙය ගීතමය අයුරින් ප්‍රාණවත් ආකාරයට ඉදිරිපත් කරන ළමා අපයෝජන වැලැක්වීමේ වැඩසටහනක්. සමාජයේ ප්‍රසිද්ධියේ කතා කරන්නට මැලි වන මේ මාතෘකාව පිළිබඳව කලින් සඳහන් කල පරිදි වෙනස්ම අයුරකින් දැනුවත් කිරීම අපගේ අදහසයි.

ළමා අපයෝජන වල ප්‍රතිඵල; එයට ගොදුරු වූ ලමයාට මෙන්ම සැලකිය යුතු ලෙස සමාජයටත් බලපෑමක් ඇති කරයි. මෙය වැලැක්වීමට හෝ අඩු තරමේ මේ වනවිටත් අපයෝජනයට ලක්වෙන දරුවෙක් එයින් ගලවා ගත හැකි හොඳම මග නම් අධ්‍යාපනයයි. එමගින් ඔවුන්ට තමන් ආරක්ෂා වීමට කල යුතු දේ පිළිබඳව දැනුමත්, සිදුවීමක් සිදු වූ විට දැනුම් දිය යුත්තේ කාටද යන්න පිළිබඳව දැනුමත් ලබා දෙයි. එය ඔවුන්ට මහත් උදව්වකි.

Mijn Lichaam Is Mijn Lichaam programma
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මා සිරුර මා සතුයි වැඩසටහනේ ලස්සනම දේ තමයි ඕන කෙනෙකුට ඒක දරුවන් හට කියලා දිය හැකි වීම. සමාජ සේවකයින්ට, දිවා සුරැකුම් මධ්‍යස්ථාන පවත්වන්නියන්ට, දෙමාපියන් ට, පාසල් විෂය භාහිර වැඩසටහන් පවත්වන්නන්ට ක්‍රීඩා සමාජ පවත්වාගෙන යන අයට, හා මෙකී නොකී ඕන කෙනෙකුට මේ වැඩසටහන ඉදිරියට කල හැකිය. මේක සරල, අමතක නොවන, ළමා අපයෝජන ගැන කතා කරන මං අරඹන එනිසාම ඉතාමත් වැදගත් වැඩසටහනක්.
“ඔබේ දරුවා සමග ළමා අපයෝජන ගැන කතා කිරීම අරඹන්නේ කෙසේ ද? ”
ළමා අපයෝජන ගැන කතා කරන එක ගොඩක් වැඩිහිටියන් අකමැති දෙයකි. එබැවින් මේ පිළිබඳව කුඩා දරුවන් සමග කතා කිරීමට සිතීම පවා නිශ්ඵල, හා කලකිරීමට පත්විය හැකි දෙයක් විය හැකිය. මේ වැඩසටහනේ ඇති විනෝදාත්මක ගීත වැඩිහිටියන් ළමයි සමග මේ පිළිබඳව සරලව හා ධනාත්මකව එක්ව කතා කිරීමට ඉඩ හසර සලස්වනවා.

සංගීතය කුමටද ?

කුඩා දරුවන් අන්තර් ක්‍රියාකාරී බැවින් ඔවුන්ට වඩා වැදගත් මතක තබා ගත යුතු පණිවිඩ ඉගැන්වීමට හැකි මාහැඟි ක්‍රමයකි ගීත. “ජර්නල් ඔෆ් මියුසික් තෙරපි” කියන සගරාවේ ප්‍රකාශිත ළමුන් සම්බන්ධ වාර්තාවක් අනුව පෙනී යන්නේ වඩාත් ධනාත්මක ස්වීයත්වය , ආත්ම ගෞරවය, හා ආත්ම විශ්වාසය ඉහල නංවන නව ගීත ළමයින්ට තමන් ගැනම ධනාත්මකව සිතීමට උදව් කරන බවයි.

මේ වැඩසටහන ක්‍රියාත්මක  කරන්නේ කෙසේද?

:විනෝදාත්මක බව රැකීම.

මෙම ගීත විනෝදාත්මක හා ධනාත්මක කාටුන් චරිතයකින්  යුතුය. මෙහිදී අප හදුන්වා දෙන සින්දු කියන, හස්තමය සංඥා ,නර්තන හා මෙම පණිවුඩ මතක සිටුවීමට ඕන දෙයක් සිදුකරන මේ චරිතයේ නම් “සින්ති”ය.

සරල බව රැකීම

කුඩා දරුවන් ළමා අපයෝජනේ බරපතල බව පිලිබදව කිසිත් නොදනී. එබැවින් අප ඔවුන්ට දෙනව සරල නීති කීපයක්.
 

කවුරුවත් ඔබට රිදවිය යුතු නෑ.
කවුරුවත් ඔබගේ පුද්ගලික අවයව ස්පර්ශ කල යුතු නෑ.
කවුරුවත් ඔබගේ පුද්ගලික අවයව වල ජායාරූප ගත යුතු නෑ.
ඔබට ගැටලුවක් ඇත්නම් කාටම හරි කියන්න.
ඔබට කවුරුහරි රිදවනවd නම් හෝ ඔබව අනවශ්‍ය ලෙස ස්පර්ශ කරනව නම් හංගන්න එපා  කාට හරි කියන්න.
ඔබට හිරිහැර කරනව නම් හංගන්න එපා කාට හරි කියන්න.


 

ධනාත්මක බව රැකීම.

මෙහි ප්‍රධාන අරමුණ තමයි දරුවන් දැනුමෙන් සන්නද්ධ කරන එක. එතකොට ඔවුන්ට පුළුවන් තමුන්ගේ ශරීරය ගැන ධනාත්මකව හා ආරක්ෂාකාරීව සිතන්නටත් ගැටලුවක් ඇත්නම් කාටම හරි කියන්න.

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මේ මගේ සිරුර - ගීතය 1

 

ගීතයේ අරමුණ

තමුන්ගේ සිරුර තමුන් සතු බව ද කිසිදු කෙනෙකුට තමන්ට රිදවීමට හෝ පුද්ගලික අවයව ස්පර්ශ කිරීමට අයිතියක් නැති බව දරුවන්ට ඉගැන්වීම.
අපේ සිරුර විශේෂ බව හා අපට රිදවීමට හෝ අනවශ්‍ය ලෙස ස්පර්ශ කිරීමට කාටවත් අයිතියක් නැති බව දරුවන්ට කියා දීම ප්‍රධාන කාරණයකි. තවද පුද්ගලික අවයව යනු යට ඇඳුම් වලින් වැසී ඇති තැන් බවත්, ඒවා ඔවුන්ටම පමණක් අයත් බවත් පෙන්වා දිය යුතුය.
සමහර අවස්ථාවලදී දෙමාපියන්ට හා රැක බලා ගන්නියන් හට පුද්ගලික අවයව ස්පර්ශ කිරීමට සිදු වන බව පැහැදිලි කිරීම වැදගත් ය.

උදාහරණ :-
1.කුඩා කල වෙන අයෙක් ඔවුන්ව නෑවීම කල යුතුය. නමුත් වයසින් වැඩෙත්ම තම ඇග සෝදන ආකාරය පිළිබඳව ඉගෙන ගනී.
2.ළමුන් තුවාල වී හෝ අසනීපව ඇත්නම් දෙමාපියන්ට හෝ රැක බලා ගන්නියන් ට සමහරවිට ඔවුන්ගේ පුද්ගලික අවයව වලට බෙහෙත් දැමීමට සිදුවෙයි. එය ඔවුන්ගේ හෝ වෛද්‍යවරුන්ගේ රාජකාරියක් පමණක් බව ඔවුන්ට කියලා දිය යුතු ය. මෙහිදී දරුවා ට ලජ්ජාවක් සිතේ නම් ඔවුන්ටම බෙහෙත් දාගන්න කියලා දිය යුතු ය.
3. වෛද්‍යවරයෙක් වුවද දරුවෙකු ගේ පුද්ගලික අවයව ස්පර්ශ කල යුත්තේ දරුවා අසනීපව හෝ තුවාල ලබා ඇති විට පමණි.

ඉහත සඳහන් අයුරින් හැර වෙනත් කිසිදු වෙලාවක වෙනත් කිසිම අයෙක් දරුවාගේ පුද්ගලික අවයව ස්පර්ශ නොකල යුතුය. ඒ වගේම තමුන්ව අපහසුතාවට ලක් කරන විටදී හෝ අකමැති යමක් කරන්න පොලබවන විට “එපා” කීම හොද බව දරුවා දනී. මේ ආකාරය දරුවා තම සිරුර තමා සතුය යන්න සිතීමට පෙලබේ.

90% කට වඩා ලිංගික අපයෝජන විශාල පවුල් තුල හෝ ළමයා වඩාත් විශ්වාස කරන පුද්ගලයෙකු අතිනි. විශ්වාසය කඩවීම දරුවාට සිදුවන මහත් හානියකි. ඔවුන් යම් ආරක්ෂිත තැනකට යා යුතු බවත් තමාට ඇහුන් කන් දෙන, විශ්වාස කල හැකි කෙනෙක් ගේ උදව් ලබා ගත යුතු බවත් දැනගත යුතු ය.

වීඩියෝවේ සින්ති ගේ වදන්.

හෙලෝ මගේ නම සින්ති. මම අද මා සිරුර මා සතුයි කියන වැඩසටහන ඉදිරිපත් කරන්නයි යන්නේ. තමුන්ගේ ආරක්ෂාව සලසා ගැනීමට අවශ්‍ය දේ විනෝදයෙන් ඉගෙන ගනී යයි බලාපොරොත්තු වෙනවා.
ඔයාලා දන්නවා අපේ සිරුර විශේෂ බව හා කාටවත් එය අනවශ්‍ය ලෙස ස්පර්ශ කිරීමට හෝ රිදවීමට අයිතියක් නැති බව. අපහසුතාවට පත්වන කිසිවක්, කිසිවෙක් නොකල යුතු බව හේතුව මගේ සිරුර මට විශේෂයි. දැන් අපි යන්නේ පලමු සින්දුව කීමටයි. මට ඕන ඔයාලත් මාත් එක්ක මේ සින්දුව කියන්න.

මේ මගේ සිරුර (ගීතයේ පද )
මේ මගේ සිරුර, මගේ සිරුර කාටවත් අයිති නෑ මෙමට රිදවන්න,
මගේ සිරුර මගේම නිසයි,
මේ මගේ සිරුර, මගේ සිරුර කාටවත් අයිති නෑ මාව අල්ලන,
මගේ සිරුර මටම නිසයි,

තියෙනවා මට අත්දෙකක්-අල්ලන්න, ඇස් දෙකක් බලන්න,
කන් දෙකක් තියෙනවා ඔබ කියන දේ අහන්න,
තියෙනවා මට තව හුගක් පෙන්නන්න බැරි ඔබට,
මේ මගේ සිරුර, මගේ සිරුර කාටවත් අයිති නෑ මෙමට රිදවන්න,
මගේ සිරුර මගේම නිසයි,
මේ මගේ සිරුර, මගේ සිරුර කාටවත් අයිති නෑ මාව අල්ලන,
මගේ සිරුර මටම නිසයි,

මගේ හිසේ කොණ්ඩය ලස්සන දැයි බලන්න,
මගේ සිරුරේ හරි මැද බුරියයි,
නහයත් ලස්සනයි කකුලේ ඇගිලිත් යසයි,
කට තියේ මට කියන්න මං කැමති දේ ඔබට,
මේ මගේ සිරුර, මගේ සිරුර කාටවත් අයිති නෑ මෙමට රිදවන්න,
මගේ සිරුර මගේම නිසයි,
මේ මගේ සිරුර, මගේ සිරුර කාටවත් අයිති නෑ මාව අල්ලන,
මගේ සිරුර මටම නිසයි,

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රහස් රැකීම.

ළමා අපයෝජකයන් හා ස්ත්‍රී දූෂකයන් බොහෝ විට විශ්වාස කරනවා ළමයා මෙය රහසක් වශයෙන් තබාගනියි හා තනි වෙයි කියලා. එබැවින් “රහස් එලිකිරීමේ” නීතිය හදුන්වා දීම ඉතා හොඳ අදහසකි.
කුඩා වියේ සිටම දරුවන්ට මෙය ක්‍රම ක්‍රමයෙන් පුහුණු කිරීමෙන් ඔවුන්ට අනාරක්ෂී රහස් එලිකිරීමට වඩාත් පහසුවක් දැන්වීමට පුළුවන්. “අනාරක්ෂී රහස්” යනු කවරෙකුහෝ තමාට රිදවනව නම් හෝ අනවශ්‍ය ලෙස ස්පර්ශ කරනව නම් ඒ පිළිබඳව පැවසීමයි.

ළමා අපයෝජනයක් වු විට ලමයින් දැනගත යුතුයි.
ඔවුන් බැනුම් ඇසීමට සිදු නොවන බව.
ඔවුන් වරදකාරී හැගීමෙන් නොසිටිය යුතුය.
යම් අයෙකුට පැවසිය යුතුය යන්න.

මතක තබා ගත යුතුයි, ළමා අපයෝජකයන් සාමාන්‍යයෙන් ළමයා දන්න, විශ්වාස කරන, ආදරය කරන අයයි. එබැවින් මේ මාතෘකාව ඉතා පරිස්සමින් සාකච්ඡාවට බදුන් කල යුතුය. ළමයා ඉදිරියේ කේන්තිය නොගන්න. ඔබ මනා සංයමයකින් සවන් දීම දරුවාට ඉතා වැදගත් දෙයකි.
 

මම සැම විටම යෝජනා කරන්නේ ඔබලා ළමයින්ට හිටගෙන සින්දු කියන්න පෙළබවිය යුතු බවයි. එවිට ඔවුන් ඉදගෙන සිටින විටදීට වඩා වැඩි අවධානයක් යොමු කරයි. එවිට හස්ත චලන වලටත් වඩා ලේසියි.


තාක්ෂණික යුගය
තාක්ෂණික යුගයත් සමග ළමයින් ගේ අනවශ්‍ය ඡායාරූප ගන්නා පුද්ගලයන් ගෙන් ළමයි ආරක්ෂා කල යුතුය. අනවශ්‍ය ස්පර්ශය ගැන කතා කරද්දීම ඒ ගැනත් ඔබ දරුවන් සමග කතා කල යුතුයි. පුද්ගලික අවයව ස්පර්ශ කිරීමට අවශ්‍ය නොවුනත් ඒවාගේ ඡායාරූප ගැනීමට උත්සාහ කරනවා නම් ඔවුන් එයට “එපා” යන්න පැවසීමත් කාටහරි කීමත් කල යුතුය.

 



 

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If It Don't Feel Right - Don't Do it - Song 2

 

Cynthie's Text From The Video
 

We’re going to have fun with this next song, It has such a great rule to remember...
And the rule is - If it don’t feel right - don’t do it !!

Now I’m not talking about things like doing your homework, or tidying up your bedroom
I’m talking about if someone tries to get you to go somewhere with them and you know it’s not the right thing to do. If it don’t feel right - don’t do it !! 
Or if someone tries to get you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
If it don’t feel right - don’t do it !!

Tutorial on how to present the "If It Don’t Feel Right - Don’t Do It" Song

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If It Don’t Feel Right - Don’t Do It  - Song Lyrics

People can touch you and say that it’s cool
But remember your body belongs to you
You’re the one who knows if it don’t feel right
And if it don’t feel right

Don’t do it, Huh!!
No if it don’t feel right
Don’t do it, Huh!!
Don’t do it
Don’t do it

There are people out there
That think you’re a fool
And they try to give you drugs
And keep you out of school
Tell you to keep secrets
But you know what to do
Cause if it don’t feel right
Don’t do it, Huh!!
No if it don’t feel right
Don’t do it, Huh!!
Don’t do it
Don’t do it

People can hold you and tell you they care
I’m not telling you that it’s not good to share
But you will know inside if it don’t feel right
And if it don’t feel right
Don’t do it, Huh!!
No if it don’t feel right
Don’t do it, Huh!!
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
No if it don’t feel right
Don’t do it, Huh!!
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
No if it don’t feel right
Don’t do it, Huh!!

Song Objectives

1. To teach children to listen to their own feelings.

Most of the time children know when things do not feel right or when things make them feel uncomfortable so teach them this rule -

"If it don't feel right - don't do it !"

 

2. To talk about peer pressure

Talk to the children about all sorts of scenarios including peer pressure by their friends at school or at home - they may try to make them do things they know are not right. You can even include people that might try and get them to take drugs in this conversation. Standing up to peer pressure can be tough, but talk about it and explain how much stronger they will feel and how much self confidence they will build if they donʼt let themselves be pressured or bullied by other children into doing things they do not want to do.

"If it don't feel right - don't do it !"

 

3. To help children with body empowerment

Children need to know that their bodies are their own and that if things make them feel uncomfortable, they have the right to say No I don't want to do that.

This includes unwanted hugs and kissing as well as touching.

If it don't feel right - don't do it !"

 

Feelings :

Once you've opened up the discussion about feelings, you can talk about the feelings we all have. Happy, sad, angry, scared ... It is very important that children know that other people all over the world have the same kind of feelings and that they are not alone. See how many different types of feelings children can find. You can play a game showing happy faces, sad faces, angry faces, funny faces, or you can get them to draw faces on what they are feeling.

Once you've opened up the discussion about feelings, you can talk about the feelings we all have. Happy, sad, angry, scared ... It is very important that children know that other people all over the world have the same kind of feelings and that they are not alone. See how many different types of feelings children can find. You can play a game showing happy faces, sad faces, angry faces, funny faces, or you can get them to draw faces on what they are feeling. (Download the children's Workbook and you will find activities to do with the children)

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The "What If" Game - Song 3 

 
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Cynthie’s Text from the video 

Now we are going to play the “What If Game” and in this song we are going to learn what to do if a stranger tries to get you to go with them, or if somebody tries to touch your private parts .

Do you know where your private parts are? They are where your underwear or pants cover. Nobody should be touching your private parts apart from when you are very young, Mommy or Daddy will have to wash you there, but you’ll soon learn to do that for yourself. Maybe if you are sick or sore, Mommy or Daddy or a Doctor might have to put some medicine there, but apart from that nobody should ever be touching your private parts.

We are also going to learn what to do if someone in our own home or family makes you feel uncomfortable or tries to hurt you. All you’ve got to do in this game is say “NO” so I want you to shout out nice and loud.....









 

 

 




The “What If” Game - Song Lyrics

We’re gonna play
The “What If” Game
There’s questions and answers for you
If you want to be a winner every time
This is what you’ve got to do
Say No !
Just say No !

What if, after school
A stranger tries to take you home
And they’re driving in a shiny new car
And they say “Hello ! You want a ride?”
Oh No, you’re a stranger
I won’t go for a ride in your car
Because my Mommy and Daddy told me
Never to go with someone I don’t know
I’d say No !!
Just say No !!

Now what if, you’re at home
And the babysitters looking after you
And they try to touch you under your clothes
What would you do?
You’d say No, babysitter
I don’t want you touching me there
Because those are my private parts
And my body don’t belong to you
I’d say No !!
Just say No !!

We are playing
The “What If” Game
There’s questions and answers for you If you want to be a winner every time This is what you’ve got to do
Say No !
Just say No !

Now what if, there’s someone
A friend or part of your family
And they touch you or hurt you
It makes you feel bad or uncomfortable What would you say?
You'd say NO !
Please don’t do that
I don’t like you touching me that way And though I really like you
Please don’t do that to me
Because I’m just little you see
I’d say No!
Just say No!
Say No!

Song Objectives

The 'What If' game can be applied to any situation that you may suspect is happening to a child. Use the game to give answers to difficult situations that children may not know how to get out of safely.
 

Examples.....
1. 'What If' someone knocks on the door and you are alone at home? What would you do?
 

a) Never open the door
b) Call a neighbour or relative if they won't go away
c) Call the police if you can't get any help and you are scared.

 

2. 'What If' a babysitter tries to touch your private parts.

a) Tell them NO then go and tell someone
b) Don’t keep it a secret even if they ask you to
 

Explaining Strangers to children
 

If you ask a group of children what a Stranger is - you may get 20 different answers such as:
 

a) A stranger is a bad person
b) Someone that will hurt you

c) Someone that gives you sweets
 

Children have many misconceptions as to what "Strangers" are.
We teach our children: “Don't talk to strangers"
"Don't get in a car with a stranger"
"Don't take sweets from a stranger"
 

But....we often forget to tell them what a stranger is.

So firstly we need to teach children What Is A Stranger ?
A Stranger is someone we don't know !
A Stranger can be
A Man or a Lady, someone old or young

Someone of any colour or social group

Not all strangers are bad people, and if someone that you love or trust introduces you to a stranger - that stranger can become a friend, BUT....unless someone you love and trust introduces you to a stranger you should never talk to them on your own.
 

In this digital age where information about children and their parents is readily available on the internet people can easily get to know the names of a child’s family members and may try and trick them into going with them. Tell them that even if the person knows a lot of things about them, if they don’t know them, they are a stranger and don’t go with them.
 

Give children examples of what lies some strangers may tell them for example:
a) Your Mummy asked me to pick you up from school as she is running late
b) I have lost my puppy, please could you come and help me look for it
c) I want to show you something really exciting, I promise I will bring you right back

Another rule is to never accept gifts from a stranger - no matter how nice the gift is.

 

Tell children that even if the person knows a lot of things about them, if they donʼt know them, they are a stranger and not to go with them.

Discuss People taking Photographs

With this current digital age , we also have to protect children from people that may want to take inappropriate photos of them.

Please explain to the children if someone wants to take photos of you or your private parts tell them NO!! and then go and tell somebody.

Safety Tips: These tips are to empower children - not scare them so please keep this positive.

• Do not talk to a stranger
• Do not take anything from a stranger
• Do not go anywhere with a stranger
• Do not get into a car with a stranger
• Do not approach a car if a stranger calls you over

• If a stranger tries to force you to go with them, yell and make as much noise as you can - shout NO !!!!
(when going through this safety tip with the children have some fun and get the children to shout as loud as they can) then go and tell a safe adult

• If someone tries to touch your private parts shout NO !! then go and tell a safe adult

• If someone tries to hurt you - shout NO !! then go and tell a safe adult

• If someone does something to make you feel uncomfortable - shout NO !! then go and tell a safe adult.

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If You've Got A problem - Song 4 

 

Cynthie’s text from the video 

It is really important to tell somebody if someone is hurting you or touching your private parts, even if you feel scared or embarrassed you need to be very, very brave and tell someone.
 

There are so many people to tell, Moms, Dads, Grannies, Grandpas, Aunties, Uncles, Teachers, Cousins, Neighbours, parents of your friends, police, nurses and many more people around you. 

Now if you tell and people don’t believe you, they might even tell you to keep it a secret - but then you go and tell someone else. If they don’t believe you - then you tell someone else and you keep on telling till someone listens to you. Don’t ever, ever give up!!

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If You’ve Got A Problem -  Song Lyrics

If You’ve Got A Problem
You don’t know what to do
Go and tell somebody 

Till they listen to you

You’ve got to find someone
To tell your troubles to
If You’ve got a problem
Find someone who’ll listen to you
 


Talk to your Mom or Dad
Gran or Grandpa too
Your Aunt or your Uncle
or a teacher at school

You’ve got to keep on telling
Till someone listens to you.
If you’ve got a problem
Find someone to tell it too 


If someone has hurt you
You don’t know what to do
Go and tell somebody
Till they listen to you

You’ve got to find someone
To tell your troubles to
If You’ve got a problem
Find someone who’ll listen to you
 


Talk to your neighbour
Your mentor at your school
Someone you know or trust
Sharing problems is a must

Just keep on telling
till someone listens to you
If you’ve got a problem
Find someone to tell it to
If you’ve got a problem
Keep telling till they listen to you

Written and Animated by Chrissy Sykes ©1989 Update 2017

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Song Objectives 

To reinforce the learning of telling someone if there is a problem and if that person doesn't listen keep telling till someone does listen.

 

Telling somebody about problems can be one of the hardest things to do for children as it might be difficult for them to try to explain what their problem is, and they may also be afraid how you might react.
 

When we talk to children about telling someone, we need to prepare them for what reactions to expect: (This would only be for the older children)

a) Grown ups may be offended, angry, shocked or scared
b) They may not believe the child
c) They may threaten the child not to tell anyone else
 

The main lesson to get through to the child is that if someone does not believe them or does nothing about the problem to tell somebody else and keep telling until someone listens to them.

Give children a list of all the people they could talk to if they have a problem for example:
Mom
Dad 

Granny
Grandpa
Older Brother
Older Sister
Aunty
Uncle
Teacher
Principal or Head Master
Neighbour
Policeman
Mentor 

Please add anyone else you feel that it is safe for the children to talk to.

Activities
1. Get the children to draw people that they would feel comfortable talking to if they had a problem. 
2. Write down as many people that the children can think of to tell about their problems.

Feelings:
It is important that children know about how they might feel when telling about a problem - these points might help them:

a) You might feel embarrassed - but it is OK
b) You might find it hard to find the right words, but just explain the best way you can
c) Your heart might beat fast and your voice might shake

- but just take a deep breath and talk slowly
d) You might find it easier to tell a little at a time over a few days
e) You might find it easier to write down your problem and give it to someone

 

Tell them to find the best way that they feel comfortable to tell someone and to never give up till somebody listens and helps them

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Love Is Gentle - Song 5

 
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Cynthie’s text from the video 
 

Let’s talk about love, it’s very important to be loved and people don’t show their love to you by hurting you or doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. People show that they love you by doing things with you like reading books, playing games, having fun, going for walks or maybe showing you how to ride your bicycle.
Love is all about sharing and caring for each other. Our parents and carers make sure we are looked after, they feed us, make sure we clean our teeth, and that we have clean clothes to wear and if we are sick they take us to the doctor. It’s very important that we are looked after well so we can grow up healthy, happy and strong.

Love Is Gentle  - Song Lyrics
 

Love is gentle
Love is kind
Sing along and you will find
There’s so many nice things we can do
To show our love

Won’t you read me a story
Or let’s go out and play some ball
You could help me ride my bike
So I won’t fall

There are so many things
We can do together
There are so many ways
We can show we care
There are so many times we can tell each other I love you
If you’ve got some time to share
I’d like to share with you
 

Love is gentle
Love is kind
Sing along and you will find
It’s so nice to share these things with you

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Song Objectives
 

To teach children that love is gentle and kind and is all about caring, sharing and trusting

 

Children come from many different types of families and backgrounds but the rules of love should all be the same.



Children should be loved gently
They should be cared for and looked after
Have enough food to eat
Have clean clothes
Someone to make sure their teeth are clean and they have been bathed
That their hair is brushed
Someone is there to help with problems
Someone to pay attention to them
Someone to read to them
Someone to make them happy when they are sad 

It is a good idea to talk about this subject with all children. If they see one of their friends or classmates who is not being looked after, they will know to go and tell a teacher or parent, so that child can be helped.

You can learn so many things about children by just opening a safe avenue of communication, where the child feels they can talk to you about any problem no matter how small.

Activities
You might ask the children to draw a picture of something that they like to do with the people that they love. Talk to them about things that make them happy, things they like to do with family members.

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Say No To Secrets - Song 6

 
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Say "NO" To Secrets  - Song Lyrics

 

I’m not gonna keep your secrets
We’re not gonna keep your secrets
I’m not gonna keep your secrets
We’re not gonna keep your secrets

 

If you try to hurt me
I’m gonna tell on you
Come on everyone
We’re gonna tell someone

If you try and do things I know are wrong
I’ll be strong
I’m gonna tell someone

I’m not gonna keep your secrets
We’re not gonna keep your secrets
I’m not gonna keep your secrets
We’re not gonna keep your secrets

 

If you try to bully me, I know that’s wrong
I’m gonna tell someone
We’re gonna tell someone
 

We say “No” to secrets, We say “No” to secrets, 
We say “No” to secrets,  We say “No” “No” “No” “No”


I’m not gonna keep your secrets
We’re not gonna keep your secrets
I’m not gonna keep your secrets
We’re not gonna keep your secrets

 

We say “No” to secrets
We say “No” to secrets
We say “No” to secrets
We say “No” 

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Song Objectives
To teach children NOT to keep SECRETS

 

Secret’s are a child abuser’s best friend...

The abuse flourishes in secrecy and allows the abuser to keep 

control of the child.


This is why we need to teach children NOT to keep secrets. Teaching about good and bad secrets can be difficult to explain - so keep it simple

and have a “No Secret’s Rule” in your family.


Instead you can talk about surprises...


Surprises are about FUN !!

For Example - We will not tell Mommy or Daddy what we have got them for their birthday as it is a surprise! 

This is a scenario where children are not having to keep it quiet for too long, and it has a positive outcome.

All too often well meaning Grandparents or Aunts and Uncles will say have some sweets but don’t tell Mom or Dad - it wil be our little secret...seems harmless enough, but it is showing children that it is OK to keep secrets.

 


Most people that sexually and physically abuse children have some sort of relationship with the child, with over 90% of these being either part of their family or part of a close circle of friends.


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They could also be trusted people in your community. People who you know and feel happy to leave your child with. Pedophiles spend a lot of their time not only grooming children but grooming families as well.


The abuser will start testing the child with small secrets - this way they can see if that child will keep silent and they will also start to form a close bond with them. Once they feel comfortable that the child is under their control they will progress further with the abuse. 
 


By having the “No Secrets Rule” rule takes this power away from the abuser!!


Try to get your family involved with the “No Secret’s Rule” 

Activity

Get the children to write down a list of what would be a surprise and what would be a secret.


(some ideas to discuss)


THESE ARE SOME SECRETS PEOPLE MAY ASK YOU TO KEEP:


•if they are bullying you


•if they are saying mean things to you

•if they are hurting you

•if they are using social media to be mean or bully you

•if they are trying to get you to do things you know are wrong

•if they are trying to get you to lie to your parents or family

•if they are trying to touch your private parts

•if they are doing things that make you feel uncomfortable


Can you write down other ideas?



IT IS OK NOT TO TELL ABOUT A SURPRISE

•if it is someone’s birthday present

•if someone has a surprise party planned

•if someone special is coming to visit

•if you are making someone something
special for someone

•if you are going on a trip or holiday


Can you write down other ideas?


 

Here are some things that an abuser might say to a child:
 


a) People won’t listen to you.....


Tell the child - DON’T BELIEVE THEM
 
 

b) People will say it is your fault....

Tell the child - DON’T BELIEVE THEM


c) People won’t love you any more...

Tell the child - DON’T BELIEVE THEM


d) You are going to get into trouble....


Tell the child - DON’T BELIEVE THEM


e) I am going to hurt you if you tell....


Tell the child - DON’T BELIEVE THEM


f) I will hurt someone in your family....

Tell the child - DON’T BELIEVE THEM


Tell the child - ALWAYS TELL A SAFE ADULT
and keep telling till someone listens to you and helps you
 

Let’s make sure that children are not caught in the secretive web of abuse.
 SAY NO TO SECRETS !!


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Thank you for helping us to create a Safer World For Children.

All songs written and animated by Chrissy Sykes ©